The paramedics and the police officers escorted Amelia into the Accident and Emergency department. One of the nurses showed Amelia and the police officers into a bay and then took Amelia’s details from the paramedics and typed them into the computer by Amelia’s bedside. The police took the handcuffs off Amelia and then sat down on some chairs inside the cubicle. “Take care Amelia, hope you feel better soon”, one of the paramedics said as they left. Amelia was feeling restless and fidgety. “Hello there Amelia, my name is Sarah. I have just come to take your blood pressure. If there’s anything I can do, just let me know.” The nurse began to wrap the blood pressure cuff around Amelia’s arm when Amelia said, “There’s nothing wrong with me. I’ve calmed down can I go home now?”
“Amelia you have to wait to see the see doctor, you know that. Besides you need your swabs taking”, barked the pointy nosed, female police officer.
“I can’t let you go just yet Amelia, are you feeling anxious? You seem to be fidgeting a little”, Sarah asked. Sarah was of a medium height and build with curly ginger hair. She looked young, not much older than Amelia and was kind and considerate. “Yes, I am feeling anxious. I am scared of what will happen to me”, Amelia cried, beginning to sob.
“That is understandable. Hospitals can be scary places. I will get you something to help with the anxiousness. The doctor will come to see you in a short while to assess you.” Amelia smiled at Sarah but she still did not feel any calmer.
Sarah came back fifteen minutes later with a tablet for Amelia. “The doctor has prescribed you some diazepam for now to help with feeling anxious. He will be with you within the next hour or so”. Sarah then left the cubicle and she took her tablet. Amelia couldn’t get comfy on her trolley. She tossed and turned, sat up and then lay back down. “Will you sit still Amelia? You are making me feel restless” the male police officer said. He was chubby, with dark brown hair with a mole on the side of his nose. He did not seem to be very sympathetic towards Amelia and she got the impression that he thought she was a timewaster. Amelia took notice of her surroundings. The walls were painted blue and there was a big nurses and doctors station in the middle of the emergency room. There were phones ringing and people using the computers, but it did not seem like any of the staff were actually busy or doing anything. Amelia noticed an old lady in the opposite cubicle. The old lady seemed confused and kept packing her clothes into a carrier bag. “Will you go and help that lady?” Amelia asked the police officers, who just looked at each other and tutted. Amelia couldn’t rest and felt sad for the confused old lady, sad that nobody would go and help her.
Amelia stared at the curtain by her bedside, it contained different tones of blue and Amelia wondered if the idea was to make the department look and feel cold. Amelia could not sit still any longer, she needed to walk about. “Erm excuse me, I hate to ask but I really feel like I need to stretch my legs. I feel very claustrophobic in here”, Amelia asked the police officers.
“Oh alright then, in five minutes when it’s switchover I’ll get the other officers to take you for a walk. They are on their way now”, the female officer replied. Amelia slumped back onto her bed. She didn’t know if she could wait five minutes. She felt like she could scream the entire hospital down with frustration. “They’re going to lock you away for a long time.”
It was almost eight in the morning and the next pair of police officers arrived to supervise Amelia. Momentarily, Amelia was alone in the cubicle and she had spotted an unopened green needle on the table side next to her. She reached over to it and hid it up her sleeve. By this time she was extremely agitated and needed a release. “Go on, do it. Bleed to death. Ugly, psychotic bitch. You will rot in a padded cell. I hate you”. Two male officers entered the cubicle and greeted Amelia. They seemed a lot more cheerful than the previous pair and Amelia feigned a smile for them. One of the officers was young, tall and skinny with spiked up brown hair. The other officer was short, fat and bald but was very cheerful. Amelia had to seize her chance. She needed to hurt herself but she just needed some privacy to do so. “Err, excuse me, can I go to the toilet please? The others made me wait for you to get here and I’m really desperate”, Amelia lied.
“Liar. Fucking liar”.
“Sure I’ll escort you”, the fat, bald officer said cheerfully. They walked over the toilet. It was a single toilet which locked from the inside. “I can’t go in with you but I will be waiting outside. Keep the door unlocked just in case we need to get in or there’s an emergency or something” the police officer said. Amelia felt a little guilty for what she was about to do because he was so cheerful and polite but she had to make herself feel better.
Amelia sat on the toilet and untied her shoe lace. She took her lace out of the holes of her trainer and pulled it out. She took off her grubby, dirty hoodie and tied it around her waist. She tied the trainer lace as hard as she could get it round the top of her arm to serve as a tourniquet. She opened the packet of the unused needle quietly so it didn’t rustle too much and took off the cap with her teeth and felt around her arm for a vein. She felt a nice bulging vein and then inserted the needle into her arm. She felt a small sharp scratch and felt her warm, crimson coloured blood trickle out. She let her arm bleed for a while. She enjoyed the sight of her own blood and she enjoyed the release that bloodletting gave her. Amelia was almost in a trance and couldn’t hear the policeman outside the toilet calling her name. He barged in and saw Amelia slumped on the toilet with the needle sticking out of her arm, letting her blood trickle out. He pushed the panic alarm into the wall and doctors and nurses came rushing to the small toilet cubicle.
A nurse with short, black hair fetched some gauze and removed the needle from Amelia’s arm, putting pressure on the wound and stuck the gauze to her arm with tape. Amelia appeared catatonic for a while, not blinking, pale and was not responding to the nurses and doctors who were around her. “You have fucking done it now. Now you have pissed everyone off. Ugly girl. Ugly, stupid girl. I hope they lock you away. You are nothing. Nothing! And you will rot in your shit!” Amelia started to scream and lash out at anybody who tried to help her. “Amelia you need to remain calm for us darling, getting angry won’t help”, a nurse said to her.
“What the fuck would you know, tell them to get off me. Get off me!” Amelia screamed as the police officers tried to restrain her. The nurses had called security who was also aiding the police in restraining Amelia. The police managed to get Amelia’s hands behind her back and handcuff her, while a doctor injected some medicine into Amelia’s buttock. She struggled and shouted but could not get out of the restraint she was in.
After a few minutes the drugs began to take effect. Amelia felt sleepy and couldn’t fight against the police or security anymore. A male nurse with short grey hair and grey eyes wheeled Amelia back to her bed in her wheelchair where the security guards observed her while the police spoke to the nurses and doctors. “How on earth did she get hold of that needle?” one of the doctors questioned. “Well she was cuffed and searched before she came in and had nothing on her but Xanax which was taken from her possession. She must have got the needle from here somewhere”, the fat, bald police officer stated, who was not quite so cheerful anymore. “If there was a needle lying around she may have got it before we came on shift or she could have picked it up in the toilet itself”.
“Why wasn’t a better eye being kept on her?” the nurse with the short black hair inquired.
“She was calm, compliant and she left the door open. I am male I couldn’t go in the toilet with her and it was undignified to keep the door open so I could see her.”
“If a patient wants to harm themselves they will find a way to do so. We shouldn’t blame ourselves but we need to document this medically and you guys should document it also to cover your backs”, the doctor said to the police. “I think this leaves us no choice but to send her to the psychiatric unit to be assessed fully by the psych doctors. Has anybody contacted this girls’ family?” the doctor went on to say.
Amelia had fallen asleep on the trolley and was awoken by a gentle prod by a Chinese doctor, with glasses who was wearing blue scrubs. “Hello Amelia, my name is Doctor Ling and I have been asked to have a little talk with you. I hear you have been having emotional problems and tried to kill yourself earlier and tried to harm yourself further in the department.”
“I am fine, can I go home now?” Amelia said groggily, trying to shake the doctors’ hand but missing connection. “I don’t think home is the safest place for you right now Amelia especially with the thought of suicide and hearing voices, would you agree?” Doctor Ling continued.
“You’ve done it now. You’re going to be locked up forever. Well deserved you stupid cunt.”
“I don’t want to be sent away. I’m not going to nut house. Get away from me!” Amelia shrieked. The nurse with short black hair heard Amelia in distress and came in to hold her hand which seemed to calm her down a little. “Sweetheart we just want you to be safe”, she said whilst stroking her hand.
“If you do not co operate we will have to detain you involuntarily which is not good for you and we don’t want to do that”, Doctor Ling continued.
“I’m just scared. I’m scared everyone thinks I’m crazy. I want my sister and my boyfriend; will you call them for me? I don’t want to be alone. I feel like a criminal with these cuffs on”, Amelia stated.
“I will call them for you Amelia, is the number for your sister on your mobile?” the nurse with short black hair asked.
“Yes, don’t call my parents. They will freak out. My sister is Melanie. Tell Melanie where I am. I’ve been missing for days so everyone will be worried. Can I have the cuffs off now? I won’t kick off anymore”, Amelia asked.
“I’m afraid they will have to stay on until you get onto the psychiatric ward because you have made an attempt to harm yourself and have had to be restrained”, the skinny, young police officer said.
Amelia sighed but she was drowsy and there was nothing she could do about the situation. She really didn’t want to have to be admitted to the psychiatric ward. Maybe she could lie and get herself out of there when she was on the ward?
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