Amelia stood under the warm shower, beginning to feel human again. She washed her usually sleek, chestnut brown hair, closing her eyes and she rinsed the shampoo out of her. Amelia was disturbed from her thoughts when she heard mumbling in the background. "Hello? I'm having a shower, hold on", Amelia shouted, thinking that one of the nurses was in her room. "Bitch. Dirty fucking bitch!" Amelia stopped in her tracks, covering her ears."You can't hide. Hide, hide, hide. Can't hide. Poison, evil, poison. They are killing you with poison."
"What do you want? Leave me alone, I thought you'd gone. Get out, get out!" Amelia shrieked. "Killing you with their poison. Don't trust them, they want blood. Blood. Your blood. Bitch, get out while you still can. Stupid, fat slag!" Amelia fell to the floor screaming, covering her face with her hands.
Amanda came rushing into Amelia's room, opening the door to the bathroom. She saw Amelia in a heap on the floor, turned the shower off and fetched Amelia a towel. "What happened honey? Why are you so upset?" Amanda asked Amelia, who was concerned and trying to comfort Amelia. "I'm not safe, even locked up here. They are here. They are here!" Amelia shrieked hysterically. "Lets get you dressed Amelia, then me and Sue can talk to you about what's going on. I think it will help you understand. Do you want anything to calm you down?" Amanda said.
"Are you trying to poison me?" Amelia snapped.
"No Amelia, these tablets and injections you have been having are here to help you. Being in hospital is scary, and it can make you angry and agitated aswell as upset and lonely. The medication helps with these feelings", Amanda reassured Amelia.
"I don't need anything", Amelia barked, getting up off the floor. "And I'd appreciate you leaving my room so I can get dressed." Amanda sighed, then left Amelia's room at her request.
Amelia put on some pink, skin tight jeans and a plain white tee shirt. She looked in the mirror at herself, disbelieving what she had become. "Disgusting. You are fucking disgusting".
"I know. I know. I'm sorry." Amelia was disrupted when she heard a knock at the door, shortly followed by Sue and Amanda coming into the room. "Hi Amelia", Sue greeted. "Are you happy for us to have our chat here?" Amelia nodded."I am going to be completely honest with you Amelia", Sue said, as she sat down on a chair in Amelia's room, with Amanda perching on Amelia's bed. "When you arrived here Amelia, we were very concerned for your safety. From what we could gather from the assessments that had been made and from speaking with your family and other doctors you were very violent, aggressive and expressed that you wanted to kill yourself. We also have reason to believe that you have been hallucinating and hearing voices and your recent self harming has raised concerns too. We know that you have been under an incredible amount of stress and have suffered a lot of trauma which may account for these behaviours, but because you were not safe and not in sound mind, you have been sectioned under the mental health act", Sue began to explain before Amelia interrupted her. "You can't, you can't do this to me. Surely that's illegal. I wasn't even fucking consulted!" Amelia ranted.
"Yes Amelia, we can. We have very good reason to believe that you are very unwell and a danger to yourself and your family are in agreement", Sue continued.
"You're all conspiring against me. You want me locked up for his crimes, the things he did to me and you're fucking punishing me!" Amelia shouted, who was clearly furious.
"We are not punishing you Amelia, we want to help you get well again. And I think you realise you aren't well. You were lucid in the isolation cell this morning and seemed to acknowledge you were not well", Amanda intervened.
"I just want to know why! Why is this happening to me?" Amelia began to cry. "What did I do? I mean, after the bridge. What did I do?"
"Are you sure you want to hear this Amelia, I don't want to upset you", Sue warned Amelia, who nodded her head. "Well in the emergency department, you managed to get hold of a needle, and you locked yourself in the toilet and made yourself bleed. You were given some drugs to calm you down and then you were brought here. When we assessed you, you got extremely aggressive with us and your family and threw chairs at them. You wouldn't calm down, so we restrained you and gave you some drugs to calm you down. We put you in isolation for your safety, but while you were in isolation, you ripped some of your clothing and tied it round your neck, so we had to confiscate your clothes from you. You were very sedated most of the time, however, when the drugs wore off you would scream and kick the door continuously. You seemed to settle down yesterday, although you were extremely sedated. This morning has been the first time we have seen you lucid." Amelia was now hysterical. "I'm...so...sorry", Amelia sobbed. "What...happens...now?"
"We want to see how you manage without being in isolation now are you lucid, otherwise we may have to transfer you to a psychiatric intensive care unit. Your doctor has prescribed you some medication that she thinks may help you. It's an antipsychotic drug called quetiapine. She thinks it will help reduce the hallucinations and voices you have been experiencing. We also have some anti anxiety drugs written up as required should you feel on edge, or particularly struggling. These drugs will make you drowsy, especially the quetiapine so it has been prescribed for you to take at night to begin with. She thinks you may benefit from some other medication and perhaps some therapy, but she would like to talk to you first as she has not had a chance to yet", Sue explained.
"When will I see her?" Amelia asked.
"Tomorrow morning", Amanda replied.
"I can't believe any of this. I don't know who I am anymore. When can I see my family? I feel so alone. What about my boyfriend? What does he think? I've fucked everything up", Amelia shrieked, whilst becoming hysterical again. "We have been in contact with your family and they are extremely worried about you. Would you like to see them this evening?", Amanda asked. Amelia nodded whilst still sobbing. "I think you probably need some time to yourself while you take time to digest what we have told you, perhaps you will benefit from from lorazepam?" Sue asked Amelia, who nodded once again. The two nurses left the room, as Amelia collapsed on her bed, sobbing into her pillow.
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